Establishing Baby Sleep Patterns the Ferber Way

There is no need to feel like a failure. It isn’t your fault. Some babies are more difficult than others and not all babies learn to sleep well without a supreme effort from their parents.

The reason babies don’t want to sleep on their own is that they are naturally inclined to want to be with their mother. They were comfortably cradled with her the entire time in the womb and it only feels right to stay in her arms once they arrive in the world. Transitioning to sleeping on her own is a time consuming project that your baby has to undertake. It is far too hard for a parent to continue dealing with a wakeful baby every night, so sleeping in her own bed is a necessity.

Fortunately Dr. Richard Ferber came up with a method for establishing baby sleep patterns that while somewhat stressful for parents, is successful more often than not. Often called the “cry it out” method, within two weeks nearly all babies will sleep in their own beds without excessive fuss.

To try this method, start out on a week where you and your partner are well rested. Unfortunately you may be in for a lot less sleep and when you are rested you are less likely to give in and pick up your baby or bring her into your bed.

When you are ready to give it a try, put your baby to bed as usual. She will probably start crying shortly after you put her down. Leave her for 5 minutes. At this point go in and comfort her in her crib, talking to her gently and reassuring her that you are still there. Do not pick her up as this will make it necessary to start all over again. When she is somewhat settled leave the room for a second time. This time wait 10 minutes before reentering the room. Calm you baby as before then leave. Repeat after 15 minutes have passed.

For the rest of the night continue checking on your baby every 15 minutes. It may take a long time, but eventually she will fall asleep during one of those fifteen minute breaks. At no point in this process should you pick up your baby. If you do you will reinforce that crying will get you to come and rescue her from her bed thus defeating the purpose. Continue this each night extending the starting time by five minutes.

It may be very difficult to listen to your baby crying for extended periods of time. If both parents are available take turns checking on her or take a break and go for a short walk outside while your partner takes over. The crying is hard to bear, but keep in mind that this method of establishing baby sleep patterns will work in the long run.